Head in the Clouds

My head is spinning round and around. My hearts turning all upside down. And I walk around with my Head in the Clouds. And it's all because of you

Aug 31, 2024

One of my favorite photos of me and Randy taken by Debbie Nix at her and Donny’s home in the Sierra footbills

As I write this, it’s the last day of my first year as a writer on Substack. I couldn’t have accomplished so much without expressing my deep, heartfelt gratitude to all my subscribers and followers, who, with your incredible support, have helped build and grow my Substack publication beyond my furthest expectations! I am so happy for your excellent, authentic friendships, and I greatly appreciate all your writing contributions. You’ve given me hours and hours of outstanding reads. I love how sharing each other’s work encourages support for the independent literary community, so I'm honored to be a part of this Substack Community. Thank you!

My journey as a Substackian began with the encouragement of my amazingly loving husband, Randy, who suggested the format. Writing my book (a collection of memoirs) was overwhelming, as I had to sort through the mountains of my stories and experiences. Having never written a book, I also lacked confidence as an author. So, it's hard to believe a year has passed since I felt so much self-doubt and uncertainty about telling my story.

Fortunately, I found Substack when my dear friend Margo Timon gifted me a subscription to Pedro L. Gonzalez. Then I discovered Demi Pietchell’s The Starfire Codes several years ago, fell in love with what she does, and became an instant fan. Through Demi’s contributions, I became more familiar with Substack as an exceptional place to publish stories. When I finally decided to write, I jumped into the deep end. Growing up, I was a swimmer, being from a swimming family. Swimming paid for part of my college education through lifeguarding and instructor jobs and competing on the University of California, Irvine swims team. I lived in the water. But my first experience with actual swimming was when my Dad threw me into the pool's deep end when I was about 3. He'd prepared me since birth, teaching me and my brothers in a baby pool and the shallow ends of the big pools, beginning in Montana, where I was born. But this was big time. 12 feet deep. Fear of deep water by most introduced to unaccompanied swimming for the first time is a scary prospect, but my 3-year-old self didn’t notice any change, so when my Dad yelled out my name, I proudly dog paddled to the side of the pool.

So a year ago, I dove into the deep end of Substack after Randy began planning our membership website called The Magic and The Music, where we will feature original songs, variety, and music videos we produce of different performing artists, as well as our current magic and music performances in video format. So far, we continue to work on content so that when we launch it, there will be enough material worthy of membership. I started my diaries as an impetus to write my book and fulfill the need for substance on our website. Not only did I accomplish this goal, but I have enough writing to publish a book. I would have never achieved such an accomplishment without the loving nurturing and encouragement from my Eros soulmate, Randy, with whom I share a profound bond that transcends physical attraction and encompasses intense emotional intimacy, and most importantly, we share a deep spiritual connection. With Randy, life is marked by zealous enthusiasm, desire, and a sense of adventure as we continue exploring our passions of life together. So, I want to dedicate this anniversary Substack to my excellent eternal other half, who helped make this all happen for us. Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for Randy Lessley! 👏

Randy has been busy this past year writing and producing dozens of songs. This will be the first song to premiere on our website, The Magic and The Music, along with a concept video.

Randy got together with his band members from San Andreas Fault, Leland Cox, and Donny Nix to perform a conceptual video to tobacco Road. Recorded back in the 1970s sometime. When living in northern California, back in the 80s Randy owned his own video studio. Besides being a talented songwriter and musician, he’s also a fabulous videographer.

It was at a summertime school dance in 1968, right after graduating 8th grade and entering high school in the fall, when walking into the cafeteria/rec room at Monache High School, the sounds of Jim Morrison’s song Light My Fire electrified the air, energizing the crowd of dancing teens. The compelling music guided my other senses, and when I looked up to the stage, my eyes landed on Randy, whose teen idol good looks —with his Beatle-style mop of hair, stunning green/hazel eyes, and inviting smile made the heart of my 15 year-old-self skip a beat. My head was in the clouds. He was the cutest guy I’d ever seen. All I could do was stare, have a crush, and dream he was my boyfriend. As the electrifying notes of 'Light My Fire' resonated through the air, I didn’t want to dance with anyone; I just wanted to stare at the stage as that dynamic energy surged through my body, igniting my teen love fire.

I was in a love trance when some kid tapped me on my shoulder to dance to a happy celebratory song, Good Lovin'. I said yes because the youthful, exuberant, catchy dance rhythm brought an enthusiastic vibe to the party. I went to the dance floor, guiding my partner towards the stage where Randy sang and played guitar and where I danced to the notes by The Young Rascals with joy and vitality along with the crowd. Hearts are rejoicing. The lively instrumentation and enthusiasm of the song captured the essence of camaraderie and newfound love. It was a euphoric moment, and I, the magnetic pull of Randy, bound him for life. No other boy mattered. Then the music changed as I walked back to my friends, hearing the soft, haunting melody of Midnight Confessions. It made me feel a sense of vulnerability as if the night air outside had entered the room and wrapped itself around my confession of love, seemingly whispering from my heart to the crowd dancing around me. I had a strange feeling everyone knew about my secret crush. My heart felt wide open and exposed.

Randy’s first published original song, Don’t Let It Get You Down, which was well received by listening audiences, and held the number 10 spot on the regional charts for two weeks

Steve Perry is singing Randy’s version of Summertime with Randy and San Andreas Fault in about 1974 in Hanford, California

Steve was working at his family’s chicken farm when Randy and the rest of the members of San Andreas Fault approached him to join their band. They needed another singer after the loss of Kirk, and Randy was hoping to share singing responsibilities, but Steve had other commitments, so he didn't join the band. Although Rsndy welcomed the thought of having Steve on board because it would have relieved him from much singing, he knew Steve would consume the band he founded, and he was right because Steve eventually took over Journey. Steve’s nickname for Randy was Randy Religious because of Randy’s commitment to his deep spiritual connection to God. Often, Steve called him Randy Religious, lovingly mocking him when Randy turned down partying and womanizing, a lifestyle Randy had left, but wished he’d at least gotten high one time when he was with Steve when he invited, but Steve did compliment Randy on his voice, and thought it was really good. Coming from Steve, that was praise he readily accepted.

When you believe in God as Randy does, you accept the path laid before you and follow your spiritual journey. Randy's spiritual and musical journey began as a toddler singing with his older sister Carol at a country Baptist church. Still, he was distanced from his spiritual nature during his adolescent and teen years, pursuing a material lifestyle, leaving him somewhat spiritually bankrupt. During the late hippy Jesus movement, Randy rediscovered his spiritual journey, an essay all its own. He did this about the same time I did in 1972, right before I went to college, and about the time he married. We hadn't seen each other since our last break-up date two years prior, and we passed each other in a hallway at a local Christian coffee house. We just looked into each other’s eyes, and telepathically, I knew we read each other’s hearts and minds. It was a moment that transcended romance. It was a deep spiritual connection with each other and God, which lasted a few transitory moments before vanishing into the ether as we passed one another. I mentioned earlier I was a swimmer and that during summers, I worked as a lifeguard and swim instructor at our local swimming plunge.

Four years after our eyes had met at the Christian coffee house, our paths crossed again. he was at the pool and newly divorced. His wife had left him when he became a Jehovah's Witness. Since the last time we saw one another was at the coffee shop, we talked about spiritual matters. I had no idea what a JW was, but then, I got tired of cult-like groups and expressed my opinion to Randy without any inquiry about the faith. It didn't seem like he was asking me on a date, even though years later, I would find out he was asking me on a date then. So, on that summer day in 1976, we continued our paths, and I married Jonathan at the end of the summer. Randy moved to Northern California, where he played a unique one-person- band show after leaving the San Andreas Fault several years earlier. He had built a music machine surrounded by a stack of keyboards and had both his feet and hands going simultaneously, filling the parts of a full band. Because of the novelty of his act, and especially the sound he produced, he was one of the most sought-after shows in Northern California. By then, he had many original songs, and music producer Arthur Wright, a staff producer for Motown, signed Randy. Exciting news for everyone at the time, but technology from the new cassette industry disrupted the entire Hollywood music industry, and Arthur had to tread deep water to keep his business. Having a career in music also didn’t jive with the mind-controlling elders over at the JW Hall, so his professional entertainer lifestyle was frowned upon during that time. However, a few JW superstars like Michael Jackson, George Benson, and Prince exists.

Randy pictured on Motown producer Arthur Wright’s office wall with Motown greats Diana Ross, The Jacksons, Thelma Houston, Donna Summers, to name a few. Randy is on the second row, and second from the left.

Randy’s One Man Band, Which was incredibly popular in northern California during the 80s and 90s.

Randy’s beautiful dedication to his faith in God continued while in the shackles of the Jehovah's Witnesses, an organization that controlled every aspect of his personal life. A blueprint for mind control operations. Randy escaped that cultish prison only when a serendipitous opportunity presented itself. He moved to Florida to work and be with a lady. The gal didn’t work out, and Randy was alone for the first time without elders lording over him. Ironically, when the witnesses disobey the established doctrine of the church, they are disfellowshipped. This means for a year, you are shunned by every Jehovah's Witness, including your family. You are left alone in your shame. This type of punishment encourages you to obey every rule, which even follows you to intimate moments with your spouse in your bedroom, where they decide your sex life. So, although Randy wasn’t disfellowshipped, God disfellowshipped them from him when he relocated to Florida. He could de-cult himself when he was alone during this time, but it wasn’t easy. Living in Florida for about eight years without JW's influence gave him the strength to find his new spiritual path. Truth and authenticity attracted him to the JW faith and got him out of that organization. That’s not to say the people aren’t excellent and accurate. It takes a lot of faith to spend about 12 hours a month having doors slammed in your face when you want to talk about God.

About the same time Randy was having problems with JWs in Florida, I was having my problems. My life felt like it was falling apart, and it did. I remember sitting on the beach praying to God for help. It wasn’t long after that it felt like God picked me up out of one life and placed me in another, with Him at the helm. I am not sure I would have met with Randy again until I went on Classmates to join my brother Harry’s class reunion page. The organizers wanted a biography and a memorial table. Randy’s name popped up, and of course, I was curious. So click I did, and sent a “hello old friend” greeting and waited. A few days later, he wrote back. We called each other and were on the phone for at least 10 hours, then we got together, and we’ve been together since September 16 years ago. Our anniversary is September 25.

Each of us is on our life journey, and along the way, our paths cross with others, and unions of all kinds begin. From inception in your mother’s womb to momentary times when you briefly encounter someone, our trails constantly intersect with hundreds and sometimes thousands of people. Sometimes, they converge like mine did with Randy‘s. We reunited with God, and we found the same pathway. Randy is my perfect physical compliment, my spiritual soul-mate, and the man I share special Eros love when a wind blew some of Cupid’s arrows our way one day.

A collage of a few of our favorite photos together

Our lives moved forward together as one, sharing our intense spiritual connection and enjoying God’s blessings. As a professional team, I am excited about our musical magical future. I’d like to finally say thank you for sharing the song he wrote for me, Head in the Clouds. It's a perfect song, expressing his love for me and the song I imagined in my mind on that warm summertime night at my first high school dance.