Estelle ✨⭐️✨

"When you lose someone you love, you gain an angel you know."

Estelle Carr born in 1928, and died in 2024

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” —Matthew 5:4

This week I'm postponing my post until another time. The reason is yesterday, the mother of one of my best friends unexpectedly passed away. She meant the world to those who were touched by her love including me. When I met Estelle years ago in the early 1980s in Las Vegas, she extended her maternal ways to me beyond her own family, nurturing and mothering me with love and kindness. Her warm embrace is one of my fondest memories from all the connections I've had in my life. The short time I stayed with her and her husband while competing at my first national bodybuilding contest at Caesars was enough to experience her wisdom and guiding light.

Estelle Carr wasn’t only a mother to my friend, but she also extended her kindness, life, and nurturing nature beyond her family to me, embracing me as one of her own. Her beautiful daughter Karen was an example of proof Estelle was a guiding light, a source of wisdom, and a constant reference of love and support for her loved ones. I will forever cherish and hold close to my heart the memories I shared with her, and grateful for making me feel I was a part of her family.

I met Estelle through her daughter Karen and her son-in-law, Dr Nelson Lassiter, whom I met on a cruise ship in about 1978 or 79. This is how I met this jewel couple; so picture this— you are sailing a five-star cruise ship, the TSS Fairsea, off the coast of Mexico in 1978, checking out the vibrant crowd of passengers dressed for the ship's Mardi Gras festival applying theatrical makeup to those joining the excitement and festivities of the celebration about to begin. As I watched the energetic group, my eye caught a young couple about my age enthusiastically enjoying the festivities. They approached my makeshift makeup table, where I stood with a makeup brush ready to paint any face coming my way. Immediately, I was struck by Karen’s warmth and good nature and her excitement dress up as the Queen of Hearts to her husband’s King of Hearts.

Dr. Nelson Laditer, Estelle, Karen Lasiter at the del Coronado in San Diego, California

I loved the fairytale aspect of their characters and was excited to use my makeup brushes to create faces to compliment their theatrical personas. When you enter the realm of makeup artistry, you're ferried into a world where imagination knows no boundaries, and every face is a canvas for artistic expression. Intrigued by the couple coming closer, I was drawn to Karen’s infectious energy and Nelson’s serene embracing confidence. As I began to work on her makeup, we engaged in conversation, sharing stories and laughter as if we had known each other for years. From what I remember, I painted hearts on Karen’s cheeks and did up her eyes to reflect an enchanting queen. Jonathan applied Nelson's makeup-flattering for someone playing a king. Our new friends were ready to enter the Mardi Gras costume party, and I can’t remember if they won. Regardless, it wasn’t about winning a cruise ship Mardi Gras costume party; it was about making new friends during an activity filled with the height of joy and happiness. The energy created by fun and happy people at a crowded get-together is contagious and uplifting. A sense of camaraderie can be felt throughout the space from the positive interactions and laughter. The collective enthusiasm and the enjoyment of the passengers created a lively and dynamic atmosphere—one where you make forever friends.

Karen and Nelson became lifelong friends. Being blessed by their friendship means having experienced a deep sense of connection, support, and companionship with them. Together, we've shared thousands, if not millions, of moments of great pleasure like (picnicking on the beach in Malibu), challenges, and even some frightening moments like the time at the Bob’s Boy on La Cienega Blvd. in Los Angeles (an eerie story for another future article). Our decades-long friendship has enriched my life and provided comfort and encouragement, adding immense value during my life’s journey. And it was in this setting of volunteering to be a makeup artist on a cruise ship where I met this incredible couple. People are asking, “You are also a makeup artist? I learned about theatrical makeup application as part of my curriculum at the Claire Trevor School of Arts at the University of California Irvine. I learned to become proficient at applying makeup at a certain level.

Make-up plays a crucial role in bringing characters to life and enhancing the overall production of a show. It's use is essential for storytelling and character development, so if your work is in the entertainment field and you create a character on stage, having the ability to apply makeup is an essential skill. As headline entertainment on the ship, Jonathan and my only responsibility was to keep passengers happy from our entertainment experience. But on this particular night, we volunteered for make-up duty because the cruise assistant who typically took on this job was unavailable. Part of me always wanted to be a makeup artist because watching actors embody the characters a makeup artist has helped create is a rewarding experience all on its own. So, standing aboard the TSS Fsirsa, I was ready to unleash my creativity and bring the passenger's characters to life in a tangible way. It was an intuitive moment which proved auspicious. I'm so grateful for my intuition on so many levels. It’s been a powerful ally that has guided me toward growth, truthfulness, and a greater sense of well-being. Cultivating it and learning to authenticate it has enabled me to harness its wisdom and, therefore, lead a more fulfilling life. Every day, I encounter magic and wonder through serendipitous moments, reminding me to embrace spontaneity and appreciate the magic of the unexpected. Meeting the Lasiters was one of these times.

Back on land and in our homes in Los Angeles, where Karen and Nelson lived in Santa Monica while Nelson finished studying dentistry, and Jonathan and I in Studio City, where we were balancing our careers between stunt work and magic, we often got together. Those were the days in our 20s when we seemed to have endless time after our daily obligations to meet at restaurants, clubs, the beach, and at our homes. In those days, I only knew how to cook my grandma's and mother's German cooking, and a favorite of all our guests, including Harry Anderson was my fried chicken, Where the only way I knew to make it was by dredging it in flour after seasoning it with only salt and pepper. Then deep fry both sides to a golden brown, and with the skin side up, pour some chicken broth over the top, covering it, turning the stove down to low, and cooking it until the broth is gone. Yum, crispy, and soft and melt in your mouth delicious all at the same time. It’s perfect to use dry chicken breasts. I remember this meal being the first I cooked for them, and today, she still craves my chicken. I will have to stop at their place the next time in Vegas and make it. One of our favorite things to do in Los Angeles was to drive from Karen and Nelson's Santa Monica apartment to Malibu, where we would eat the chicken, corn on the cob, and also my potato salad. The beach was a little area with rock formations - a little enclave. Still, despite its secluded location, the beach was a popular destination primarily for surfers, and we'd have most of the beach to ourselves, enjoying its charm and allure. At the same time, we were seeking solace and embracing the peacefulness of the ocean. We also explored the landscape and hidden wonder as we watched Jonathan and others bravely surf. I can easily say these were some of the best moments of my life.

My fired chicken 😋

Times change, and when we’re young, we don’t expect it to happen when transitions alter our existence. At least, that was what I thought looking through my 20-something-year-old self. The day finally came when Nelson graduated from dental school at UCLA, and the Lasiters moved to their new home near her parents in Las Vegas, Nevada, where her father was in high-level security for gaming control. Having your best friends move to Las Vegas had its benefits. Our work and magic brought us to Las Vegas, where we often met.

In the early and mid-80s, Las Vegas was still a sleeping town. It reminded me of a city about twice the size of Bakersfield, California, during that period. Five leading casinos ruled Las Vegas then, and if you were an entertainer, you desired to perform in one of these casinos. The rest didn’t matter except as a ladder to the larger casinos. The first casino show Jonathan and I performed in Las Vegas was called the Holiday Casino, where we had lined Rocky Sennes, Wild World of Burlesque, which was bought by Harrahs and is today Harrahs. This allowed us plenty of time to be with our friends and to visit Nelson as a dentist, where he and Karen, his office manager cared for our teeth, and I credit them for my wonderful smile. On one of those visits, I was there because I qualified for the women’s USA bodybuilding contest. Estelle Carr, Karen’s mother, was anxious to have me stay at her and her husband’s beautiful home.

Karen Lasiter and I at her parent's house in Las Vegas when I stayed with Estelle and her husband

In Las Vegas in the mid 80’s playing miniature golf with Nelson and Karen

An invitation I accepted because I needed to be there for over a week. The overwhelming joy I felt from your Estelle and her husband’s hospitality during my week-long stay in her home stems from the warmth, kindness, and care she showed me. It's the feeling of being welcomed as part of the family, experiencing genuine generosity, and feeling deeply appreciated and looked after that I felt forever grateful. She offered support in tangible ways. For instance, a bodybuilder requires a special diet, especially during the pre-contest period, when eating correctly is crucial for optimal performance. I still went shopping and made sure I had access to all the necessary foods allowed on my strict eating regimen. From what I remember, she found a gym for me to work in during my stay and opened her beautiful outdoor pool for my tanning purposes. In her presence, I quickly found the anxiety that had built up inside me gone. I had been very stressed that I had left Jonathan in St. Croix, Where he was obligated to perform his solo parlor show in the ship’s disco nightclub while I traveled alone back to the US. I recall on the flight to Las Vegas missing his company and being hungry on the long flight as I thumbed through food magazines, which didn’t help stave off my appetite. Lol!

In the first picture Karen with her Mom eating one of Karen’s delicious meals. In the second picture is still, Nelson and Karen. In the last photo is still with her beloved dogs. I always remember her having dogs.

Once in Las Vegas, I was a little bit apprehensive About my stay and especially my diet, but let me tell you, Estelle made the best meals while keeping my food restrictions in mind. Under her guidance, I never felt hungry, restricting my salt and carbohydrates leading up to the competition. I remember she had a big box of Ethel M liquor chocolates, my favorites. It was maddening staying away from them. When the contest ended, she presented a big box for me to take home after I had eaten about six of hers, replenishing my carbs. Her hospitality created a sense of comfort and belonging that left a lasting impression, making my stay unforgettable and filling my heart with gratitude and happiness. I felt like I had met my second Mom!

A photograph of Karen’s parents in their younger days as a couple, Here they both radiate so much beauty!

The fact she extended her home and heart to me, treating me like one of her own, and her friendship, a treasured bond that profoundly enriched life in many ways, has always drawn me near to her. This is why today I'm saddened to announce that at 4:25 PM yesterday, Thursday, February 2nd, at the age of 96, Estelle left this life to be with the beautiful angels in heaven who watch over us. May this beautiful lady Rest in Peace in God’s arms.

Moving forward in this time of grieving, the memory of Estelle will continue to shape and influence my life in resonant ways, leaving an unforgettable mark of gratitude and reverence. Her presence was as illuminated the path with her wisdom, kindness, and unwavering support. Though she may no longer be physically present, her legacy lives on in the cherished memories, lessons learned, and the love she bestowed upon all those fortunate enough to have known her. With each passing day, I’ll be reminded of her impact on my life, and I am forever grateful for how she blessed my life. The countless lives she touched are a testament to the enduring power of love and the beauty of a life well-lived.

God loans us these beautiful people who have been the most significant part of our lives. When the time comes, He takes them back home for a reunion., back to the source of creation. We will all be together with our Creator in the next realm. Again, we will be with those loved ones we miss so much.

Estelle celebrating her 90th birthday

A Silent Tear

“Just close your eyes and you will see All the memories that you have of me Just sit and relax and you will find

I'm really still there inside your mind

Don't cry for me now I'm gone For I am in the land of song There is no pain, there is no fear So dry away that silent tear

Don't think of me in the dark and cold For here I am, no longer old

I'm in that place that's filled with love Known to you all, as "up above" Author Unknown